The Honeymoon is Over

The first weeks of school are usually idyllic: meeting new friends, the smell of new books, notebooks full of blank spaces, and an eagerness to finally make this year the best one ever. Our children go into each new year with high hopes as dreams of the Honor Roll dance in their heads. So we encourage them and send them off. After all, this may just be the year they make are successful. This may be the year when they get organized, finish a project on time, or actually study for a test. But alas, the school year is more than three weeks long and reality sets in all too soon.

Now that the newness of the school year has worn off, our ADHD darlings are presenting us anew with the same old problems of missing papers, books left at school, blanks lines where assignments should be listed, projects tackled at midnight, and hieroglyphic handwriting. We get complaints about unfair teachers, threats to run away if they have to open a book at home, and academy award begging to be released from their torture.

Yes, every parent knows how this feels, but more so those who parent ADHD children and teens. We are keenly aware of how frustrating organization and self-discipline are for them. Reading can be difficult when ideas are pushed aside somewhere along the page for thoughts like "I wonder if Albert Einstein would have liked rollerblading?" or "Wouldn't it be cool to run as fast as Sonic?" They take our casual reminders and instructions as criticism and call themselves stupid instead. Our own attitude toward their school and homework also rubs off on our children. It just seems too hard, too frustrating, too overwhelming to make it all work. They give up or blow up. How can we give our bright, creative kids a chance to succeed in school? How can we help make this year different from all the others?

The goals for our children are no different than those for any other child; cooperation, good grades, to feel good about their abilities and achievements. In order to reach these goals, persons with ADHD need external structure to help organize their thoughts and keep them focused. Children, particularly, need encouragement and immediate rewards in order to feel good about each step toward their goals. Here are some tried and true ideas gleaned from many sources and adapted to meet the needs of our challenging kids. Try them and see which ones might fit your family. But don't overwhelm your ADHD child with too much change at once.

• ADHD children thrive within routines and limits. If their schedule is predictable, they feel safe and can be creative with in their limits. Set up a routine for them to follow as soon as they get off the bus, and try to stick to it every weeknight. For instance: snack time, homework time, chores or exercise, dinner, extra homework, outside activity such as scouts or sports, free time, and a set bed time each evening. This is hard to establish in today's busy lifestyle, but well worth the sacrifice. This is, by far, the best step toward restoring sanity to the evenings, but also the hardest.
• Set up a reward system that immediately recognizes their efforts as it builds toward a bigger reward. A homemade coupon can be given for homework that was listed correctly and legibly and all books and papers were brought home; when assignments have been completed; parts of a project are accomplished; and reading time finished. Coupons can be given when chores are finished, cooperation was displayed, few complaints were uttered, and they were ready for bed on time. Why not reward them if they show self-control with a sibling or pet, make it to the bus in the morning with everything ready, or if they take their medication without complaint. Decide together what 5 or 10 coupons are worth, and make a visible list of rewards.
• No TV, video games, phone calls or rewards of any kind, until homework is finished. Be absolutely firm on this one. It is your biggest bargaining chip.
• If homework can't be completed in one half hour sitting, let them take short breaks. But allow no TV in between. Reward each chunk when completed.
• Establish a set place to do the work, close to where the school supplies are stored and away from distractions.
• Play music in the background during study time. Many ADHD kids can't tolerate silence. Keep their ears busy while their eyes are focused on their work.
• Use a daily organizer for homework assignments. Teachers can be asked to sign when the child has written assignments in correctly. An excellent organizer for older students can be purchased from Franklin Covey Systems (authors of the Seven Habits for Highly Effective People) which includes study helps in the front. Assignments completed and handed in during class should be initialed by the teacher. Due dates for the material should be clear.
• Establish communication between you and the teachers. Set a weekly time to phone or email them and check on progress. If a severe problem has resulted, the teachers could provide a written list of daily assignments as the student leaves class each day. Parents can double check this against his/her handwritten assignments, than initial the organizer each night. If no homework is assigned, a note should be initialed by the teacher in his/her organizer.
• A highlighter can be used to mark off assignments when completed; a visual reward.
• If a teen is still rushed and sloppy about writing in assignments, attach a key chain mini- recorder to the notebook. Assignments can be spoken into it and written in the organizer at the next free moment. These can be purchased at Office Max, Staples, or K-Mart with the school supplies.
• Provide a daily or weekly progress report to be filled out by all his/her teachers to notify you of any class work that is missing or behavior that will need to be re enforced at home. Do not ask your child to be responsible for getting them from his/her teachers. They should be handed to him/her at the end of the class time. He/she should be responsible for bringing them home.
• Any projects that require several days/weeks to complete should come with a written requirements list with due dates attached. Then help your child to break projects down into manageable sections and write these chunks into the assignment book to be done as part of the homework routine.
• Ask if assignments can be done on the computer instead of handwritten. If typing is a problem, begin by having him/her dictate to you and slowly move them to take over more of the typing as they get better at keyboarding.
• When pages of texts are assigned reading, ask him/her to look for key words and ideas and write those notes down. In some cases, a second set of text books can be purchased from or given by the school. If this is not possible, copy the pages he/she needs to read and allow the child to highlight the important facts. Use a colored envelope or piece of paper as a line guide to hide the "extra" words to help focus on one sentence at a time. If the child is still having trouble concentrating, have them read into a tape recorder and then listen as they follow along in the book.
• Notes from class and reading material can be typed on the computer by the student and saved onto his/her own set of disks. Possibly a different color disk or label for each subject. It will re-enforce what they learned each day. When it is time to study for a test, the notes won't be forgotten or lost.
• A zippered binder will trap all papers, pencils, small books, and other items safely inside.
• Type their schedule on the computer or copy it a few times. Put one class schedule in a clear page protector, and place one in their binder.
• Take time to help your child organize his/her binder. A set of numbered dividers can be matched to the period numbers for class notes. Add pocket folders as In/Out bins for each class; separating homework that still needs to be done and the work that needs to be turned in.
• For middle school and older students, ask each teacher for a table of contents of items that should be kept in his/her notebook. Parents can help keep them organized at home or ask that a special organizational class/group be taught in the school during study hall time. Many schools have this available. Teachers can help by checking the notebook at the end of each week and help him/her add things that are missing and keep track of note taking skills.
• Provide colored sticky notes to flag a book or paper that needs to be brought home. They can pick it out of all the confusion easily. These sticky notes can be stuck to the front door at home, reminding them to take their gym shoes or lunch money. Put them on the bathroom mirror and add words of encouragement and praise. Keep the notes positive, giving them a good feeling toward all the notes.
• Provide reminder lists to be placed in their locker or desk and their binder. It can include items that need to be carried home each day. If they continue to forget key items, they should clean out their lockers or desks completely each night and bring it all home. A week of this and they will be willing to check the list each day.
• When homework has returned home, set up a file box or drawer with sections for each class. File all graded tests and papers along with any computer notes that were printed out. This can also be a way for them to save projects in progress, preventing them from getting lost in their room somewhere.
• Use a date stamp on all assignments, near the student's name. This can be used to track missing assignments that somehow didn't get handed in, or used for filing.
• Have your child find a study buddy for each subject that he/she can call if they can't read their writing or if they have trouble understanding the work.

You may feel these suggestions put more pressure and responsibility on you, as parents. At first it IS a lot of extra work. But we need to teach these study skills to our children, allowing them to compensate for their inner disorganization and to create good habits for the future. The older the child is, the harder it will be to break the old routines and establish new ones. As they get used to the routine, and begin to see themselves succeeding, it will get easier and take less time each night.

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