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printer friendlyADD Resources eNews: December 2007
Countdown to Christmas!!Making Progress, One Person at a Time
Do you ever get discouraged about all the bad and inaccurate press about ADHD? That it is a condition that doesn't exist. That we are seeking the easy way out by taking medicine or giving medicine to our children for a made up condition? That these are powerful medcines with dangerous side effects and that any parert giving them to their child is a bad parent?
I just finished reading an article by a columnist for the NY Times who was suppose to write a book on these kinds of topics, but she kept putting off writing the book—and she finally realized why. Here is what she had to say:
"For a long time I thought that it wasn’t getting written because I was too busy or too lazy or too scatterbrained to write it. But then I realized that it wasn’t getting written because it simply couldn’t be written. Its central argument was a tenable one in theory, but it crumbled in practice, when I ventured further than reading books and newspaper and magazine articles, and got beyond theory and started to talk to real people. To real parents who consistently told stories of how they’d painfully accepted labels and medications for their kids only after exhausting every other possible option, and to practitioners who often enough had themselves approached the whole issue of "flavor of the month" diagnoses like attentionþdeficit hyperactivity disorder with skepticism, but had then come to see their validity—and the value of properly prescribed medication—from the weight of evidence they’d amassed in clinical practice.
I became aware, over time, that there was a name for people like me within the community of parents and doctors whose lives were consumed with treating children with A.D.H.D. and other issues: "naysayers. I learned that we—the people who had no idea what it was like to parent a child with serious issues but found it easy to theorize and moralize and pontificate about the "abstract other" — were just one more burden that these parents and their children had to contend with in their already overburdened lives."
I found her article hopeful. You can read it here.
Until next month,
Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Director
New Articles Posted in Members Only Section
Here are the titles:
- How Children Want to Be Parented—Advice for Being a Good Parent by Harold Meyer
- ADHD and the Dysfunctional Family by Susan Lasky
- What Does It Mean for Parents and Families When Their Child is Diagnosed with ADHD? by Anne S. Robertson
- Parenting a Child with ADHD—17 Tips from the Mother of a Child with ADHD by Alisha Leigh (Pseudonym)
- Tips for ADHD Management in Children—3 Steps For Improving Performance; 11 Way To Help With Self–Control and 8 Tips To Help You Be Your Child's Advocate by Mary Fowler
- Nurturing Self–Esteem In Children by Harold Meyer
- Most Kids Don't Outgrow ADHD
- Moving On to High School: A Tip Sheet for Parents of Children on Individualized Education Plans
- Teaching Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Instructional Strategies and Practices by the U.S. Department of Education
- Life–Long Consequences of ADHD
- Structure: Practical Strategies for Coping with ADHD
- Setting Personal Boundaries: A Primer for Healthier Relationships by Harold Meyer
- Couples and ADHD: Expectations, Communications and Boundaries by Harold Meyer
- Meeting the Challenge of Conformity by Dale S. Brown
- ADHD and the Dysfunctional Family by Susan Lasky
Learn about ADHD Where Physicians Learn about ADHD
We have collected numerous free online resources for learning about ADHD which are geared for the ADHD professional but are also available for free for everyone else. View the extensive list at http://www.addresources.org/cme.php
Conference CDs Now Available
We have CDs available for many of the sessions at our 5th annual ADHD conference which featured Dr. Thomas Brown.
How's That Workin' for Ya?
I really don't like Dr. Phil. I think he takes complex issues and reduces them to ridiculously simple explanations. He also tries to "help" people by blaming and shaming them, in my opinion.
I do have to admit, though, that his "How that's workin' for ya?" catch phrase is a good one. When faced with this question, a person is forced to build their awareness of the situation. And awareness is always the first step in changing behavior.
Sharon Howell (ADD Management Group Associate Coach) and I were just discussing this point yesterday. As coaches and as highly self–aware ADDers, we often check in with ourselves when something isn't working the way we want it to. Sharon pointed out that this reminds her of another quote: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."––Albert Einstein
By this definition, there are a lot of insane adults with ADD out there! I do mean this light-heartedly, as I think we are all guilty of wishing that our problems and challenges will magically go away. Too bad it doesn't actually work that way.
Here are some real–life examples that I've coached ADDers on in the last couple of weeks:
- "Alice" is constantly fighting with her kids to clean up after themselves. They say "Yeah, mom, I'll do it later." But the mess just keeps growing, and Alice eventually gives in and does it for them.
- "Ted" has way too much work but is afraid to delegate to his assistant because he thinks that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Meanwhile, he's stuck late at work all the time and angry that he's missing out on summer barbeques and family fun.
- "Ginny" is studying for exams and burning herself out trying to get in 12 hours of study time each day. But she's stressed and anxious and therefore the time she does spend studying is not really productive. Yet, she keeps insisting that the amount of time she spends is more important than the quality of the study time.
In each of these cases, I've offered up that annoying Dr. Phil quote: How's that workin' for ya?
And in each of these cases, the answer was the same: It's not working.
Sometimes, this little gem of awareness is all a person needs to realize that their current behavior is not producing desired results. And the next logical step is changing that behavior to something that will work.
- Alice decided she wouldn't drive her boys to soccer practice until they cleaned up their rooms. It didn't take long to get those rooms cleaned up.
- Ted is working hard to get over his "I have to do it all" mentality by delegating one small task to his assistant every day. He's not yet leaving work earlier, but he'll get there.
- And Ginny is realizing that 6 hours of quality study time will serve her much better than 12 hours of disengaged study time.
Solutions to problems and challenges don't always come easy. But changing behaviors and trying new strategies is much better than falling into Einstein's world of insanity.
So the next time you find yourself stressing out and beating yourself up because you just can't seem to produce the results you're trying to achieve, step back, look at your approach to the problem, and ask yourself:
How's that workin' for ya?
This article was written by ADHD Coach Jennifer Koretsky and is posted with her permission. Her website is addmanagement.com She has recently published the book, ODD One Out: The Maverick's Guide to ADHD.
Interesting Web Sites
- Two online webcasts—an overview of ADHD and executive functioning and how it pertains to school issues
- Pills Don't Teach Skills—A Personal Story of Overcoming the Challenges of Adult ADD by Jeff Hamilton and Adult ADD Coach Pete Quily
- Make ADHD Work For You—A blog with many helpful tips for the person with ADHD
- Great clutter tips from Oprah
- Play yourself smart with these fun, interactive games from Happy Neuron that are scientifically developed to make your brain sweat
- Retraining brain waves—Neurofeedback is a burgeoning form of therapy that teaches patients exercises to strengthen weak patterns of brain activity - even kids with ADHD.
- http://www.disabilitysecrets.com and http://disabilityblogger.blogspot.com—Applying for social security disability and SSI benefits, with or without an advocate can be difficult due to how long a claim may take and the high chance of being denied.
- New guide aims to help parents ensure their children get best available ADHD treatments
- Clinician Handouts to Share with Parents— Parents of children with ADHD are often looking for answers to their questions. This section provides informational handouts on common topics related to children with ADHD. Some handouts available in Spanish.
- Two recommended books—
- Positively ADD. It is a book of 17 fascinating biographies of people whose ADD helped them achieve their dreams. This book is the proof of how good life with ADD can be, for all the children and parents who are wondering what impact a diagnosis will have on their families, and their futures.
- Your Child's Strengths: Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them by Jenifer Fox, M.Ed. is a book that Dr. Hallowell is very excited about. Ms. Fox, who is head of the Purnell School, has done nothing short of outline a completely new approach to how education should be provided for our children. Due out in February 2008.
Become a Professional Member
For just $10/mo ($120 a year)receive:
- All of the benefits of regular membership plus:
- Top listing in the National ADHD Directory searches.
- A beautiful, wooden–framed color certificate (8.5x11) recognizing your professional membership in ADD Resources. You will be proud to hang this certificate in your office.
- Two Adult ADD Readers, one for you and one for your office or to give to a client plus 10 brochures and 25 business cards for ADD Resources.
Reduced rates for current members who want to upgrade to the Professional Membership category.
Sign up now to become a Professional Member
Do You Know a Good ADHD Service Provider or Product?
Help us let others know who is good. Download this web page. Give it to ADHD service providers you know. Encourage them to become participants in the National ADHD Directory—a resource for all folks in the United State looking for help with their ADHD difficulties. The National ADHD Directory opened to the public on April 1, 2004. We have over 1150 providers listed. Check it out>>
